Harry’s fingers are already playing with the cold key in his pocket. He’s comforted by the idea that at any moment he could, hypothetically, make a run for it. He may always be in danger, but he’s always not too far from safety either. He can dash to his Dyster nest. To the arms of the Fog.
“Uh.”
HALF LIGHT - (Run. Make a run for it. You’re faster than him. You’re not far from your room. Just fucking run.)
LOGIC - (From what?)
VOLITION - (Kim isn’t going to hurt you.)
EMPATHY - (He’s worried about you.)
[Why am I so scared then?]
HALF LIGHT - (Because he’s going to hurt you.)
VOLITION - (Stop that. Let go of the tension you’re holding in your jaw.)
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - (Be candid. The Lieutenant values honesty. He doesn’t appreciate it when you waste his time. Don’t tell him you’re fine.)
He turns to face Kim, but he can’t really meet his eyes. He fiddles with the key in his fingers, keeps his eyes on it.
“…not really, no. I’m really freaked out almost all the time. I don’t know how to calm down and it’s not like it’s an irrational thing, it happened before. It could happen again, as long as those machines are running in Haftesal.”
His throat closes. His stomach clenches. It’s one of the oldest feelings in his body. It’s a child-feeling. He knows he’s going to cry. Maybe not this second but it’s coming. And he’s just standing here. And he can’t stop it.
no subject
“Uh.”
HALF LIGHT - (Run. Make a run for it. You’re faster than him. You’re not far from your room. Just fucking run.)
LOGIC - (From what?)
VOLITION - (Kim isn’t going to hurt you.)
EMPATHY - (He’s worried about you.)
[Why am I so scared then?]
HALF LIGHT - (Because he’s going to hurt you.)
VOLITION - (Stop that. Let go of the tension you’re holding in your jaw.)
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - (Be candid. The Lieutenant values honesty. He doesn’t appreciate it when you waste his time. Don’t tell him you’re fine.)
He turns to face Kim, but he can’t really meet his eyes. He fiddles with the key in his fingers, keeps his eyes on it.
“…not really, no. I’m really freaked out almost all the time. I don’t know how to calm down and it’s not like it’s an irrational thing, it happened before. It could happen again, as long as those machines are running in Haftesal.”
His throat closes. His stomach clenches. It’s one of the oldest feelings in his body. It’s a child-feeling. He knows he’s going to cry. Maybe not this second but it’s coming. And he’s just standing here. And he can’t stop it.