HALF LIGHT - (He doesn’t trust you, or your questions. He watches you turn people inside out every day.)
COMPOSURE - (He’s just thinking, it’s been a few seconds.)
Harry’s face breaks into a broad grin, the crest on his head perks up.
“Cool...that’s super cool. That’s disco.”
He nods with enthusiasm, and with his crest totally fanned out like that he looks unreasonably reminiscent of a cockatoo.
“‘Cause I’ve been hoping that we are. Or that we could be if we weren’t.”
For awhile now. Ever since that first ace’s high and the smoking on the balcony. He hoped they could be friends. There’s other stuff he hopes for too. But it’s foolish and embarrassing and really doesn’t bear thinking about in the light of day. This is for real and doesn’t make him feel weird when he looks at his partner.
…
Oh, ok now he’s feeling weird. His smile gains a strained edge. A twitch. He’d like to be perfect. The petulant voices in his head light up in chorus. He can do better, he can always do better. He can take on ten cases a week. He can handle it. All he needs is time. Maybe he can’t not be embarrassing but he can do other things. All he needs to do is be better.
And when he’s better Kim will trust him for real.
There will be no walls between them. He will take his time with Kim’s secrets, one at a time, everything treated equally and filed away. A pleasure wheel, a pilot jacket, and a dead partner are all equally important. All have added up to build Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi, the finest of Precinct 57.
THOUGHT GAINED - ONE DEEP BREATH
VOLITION - (You have a problem. This isn’t normal. This isn’t the right way to think about people.)
INTERFACING - (You are what you are. A machine of perpetual motion. You were wired to be like this with purpose. If you stop you simply won’t be you any longer.)
CONCEPTUALIZATION - (You’re a romantic. An experimental poet.)
He wipes his face on his sleeve. There it is, he knew it was coming. He’s getting so fucking good at crying like it’s normal and not humiliating. And he gets an extra second or two to remember what he was saying.
“…I guess not, but I embarrass Jean too and we used to be friends. I just don’t want it to ever get like that. With us.”
no subject
COMPOSURE - (He’s just thinking, it’s been a few seconds.)
Harry’s face breaks into a broad grin, the crest on his head perks up.
“Cool...that’s super cool. That’s disco.”
He nods with enthusiasm, and with his crest totally fanned out like that he looks unreasonably reminiscent of a cockatoo.
“‘Cause I’ve been hoping that we are. Or that we could be if we weren’t.”
For awhile now. Ever since that first ace’s high and the smoking on the balcony. He hoped they could be friends. There’s other stuff he hopes for too. But it’s foolish and embarrassing and really doesn’t bear thinking about in the light of day. This is for real and doesn’t make him feel weird when he looks at his partner.
…
Oh, ok now he’s feeling weird. His smile gains a strained edge. A twitch. He’d like to be perfect. The petulant voices in his head light up in chorus. He can do better, he can always do better. He can take on ten cases a week. He can handle it. All he needs is time. Maybe he can’t not be embarrassing but he can do other things. All he needs to do is be better.
And when he’s better Kim will trust him for real.
There will be no walls between them. He will take his time with Kim’s secrets, one at a time, everything treated equally and filed away. A pleasure wheel, a pilot jacket, and a dead partner are all equally important. All have added up to build Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi, the finest of Precinct 57.
VOLITION - (You have a problem. This isn’t normal. This isn’t the right way to think about people.)
INTERFACING - (You are what you are. A machine of perpetual motion. You were wired to be like this with purpose. If you stop you simply won’t be you any longer.)
CONCEPTUALIZATION - (You’re a romantic. An experimental poet.)
He wipes his face on his sleeve. There it is, he knew it was coming. He’s getting so fucking good at crying like it’s normal and not humiliating. And he gets an extra second or two to remember what he was saying.
“…I guess not, but I embarrass Jean too and we used to be friends. I just don’t want it to ever get like that. With us.”